Four weeks, three thoughts

Severen is four weeks old today. In the last month or so, I've had many, many thoughts on motherhood. Here are three that I keep coming back to:

1. Being a mom to a newborn is like being a detective. I am constantly trying to decipher Severen's squeaks, squawks and eyebrow wiggles. My days are a series of problem solving activities - it is like a really long, real-time analytical section on a standardized test. Except this test involves stressful questions about belly buttons, breast milk and soaked diapers. I'm trying to stay one step ahead of him but just when I think I've solved the puzzle and things might quiet down for a bit, he surprises me with something else. Touché, Severen. Touché.

2. I am not special. Nope, not really. There are lots of moms out there and we are all experiencing mostly the same things, have the same anxieties, think the same thoughts, etc. It is humbling to think that I'm just one lady with a one little son. Being a mom is such a big deal to me (the biggest deal!) but when I zoom out of my own life and consider all the other moms all over the planet (or heck, when I just look around the waiting room at the pediatrician's office) I realize: "Hey, you're just doing this thing now - along with all these other people." As my husband's grandma (who had nine kids) said, "Once you have a child, you really join the human race." That's where I'm at right now.

3. I worked so hard to be prepared for this little man - and we had extra long to think about him b/c of our pregnancy journey - but I still continue to be surprised by what is required of me as a new mom. When people tell you that having a baby was the hardest/greatest thing they ever did, they are not exaggerating. I always kind of thought, "Oh, you mean 'hard' like training for a marathon is hard or 'great' like graduating from college is great." But nope, nope. I'm talking hard/great like marriage. There are subtractions and additions to happiness on a daily basis and somehow, at the end of the day, you end up juuuuussst ahead of where you started that morning. Just enough to feel truly gratified.

P.S. Next week, I hope to get back to some listing in the shop (yay! I have so many pretty things saved up) as well as a bit more blogging. Thanks for your patience this last month!