It's a sham!

I managed an outfit post! The first one in almost three months. But I'm going to level with you . . . it is a bit of a sham. I'm telling you this because, if you are like me, sometimes you see these kinds of posts and think, "Oh s*$t, she looks so put together! She must be so organized. I bet everything in her closet is folded nicely, her hair smells good, and she is wearing lotion. I bet she wakes up on time every day and always eats a healthy breakfast. I'm so jealous." Well, don't feel that way about me because . . .

1. My armoir is an absolute disaster. It was very easy to select this ensemble because, quite honestly, it was the only thing that wasn't wrinkled. And actually, the shirt is still wrinkled. Oh well.

2. I wear Grandma underwear 100% of the time post-baby. There are at least 5 inches of white underwear exposed above the waistline of my jeans under my tank-top that you, mercifully, cannot see. That's how I roll now.

3. I have only two pairs of jeans that fit me now (this pair and an identical pair) and let's be honest, "fit" might be a little bit too generous a term. If by "fit" you mean I can put them on and take them off without assistance then yes, they fit. The rest of my twenty pairs of pants - including all my favorites - are in the attic in a tupperware bin waiting until next year when hopefully I can wear them again.

4. I took these photos in my bedroom and there is a large, ugly, battery-operated baby swing cropped out of the image on the left. And there is a co-sleeper right behind the tripod. And the bed is not made.

5. RE: My hair. Sooo, it is a different color now. Lots darker. Apparently that is common after having a baby (other mom's out there is this true?) And I just got a haircut with bangs last week. I love it/I hate it. I don't know. The last time I had bangs like this I was in Middle School and that didn't go so well!

6. Hello Crow's feet. Do you seem them? Outta nowhere.

7. It took me almost 30 minutes to get dressed to take these photos because Severen kept waking up from his nap. At one point, I had on my tank top, pants, and one shoe. Then I managed to get on the other shoe. Then the jabot/hat pin. Then I had to sneak into my office to get the bracelets and he woke up again and I felt like a bad mom for ruining his sleep cycle just to do this silly post. It was not a graceful process.

8. I dried my hair with a hairdryer for the first time in months prior to this photo session. My neighbors would not recognize this person you see here as the same person who has been out for walks with the stroller these past few weeks. This is a borderline "Breakfast Club" - type makeover.

9. I do not wear nice outfits or jewelry every day. Most days I wear my Zara stretchy pants and any number of striped t-shirt tops that can be a.) easily lifted for nursing and b.) sustain serious drool and spit up incidents. If you just showed up at my door on a weekday, that's probably what you would find. And a ponytail.

10. My favorite breakfast lately is something I found at the co-op called "The Ultimate Breakfast Cookie." Need I say more?

So why bother with this outfit post at all if it is such a sham? Well, for myself. To prove to myself that I can still get dressed, do my hair and look decent when I try. I might not be able to go to a movie or a cocktail bar but dammit, I can pretend! (Also, I wanted to show you my bangs :))